7 things you DON’T need to know about NieR Replicant ver.1.22474487139…

Waste time you could be spending doing something productive by reading this article full of useless and meaningless NieR information.
By Duncan Heaney

We previously talked about the things you absolutely need to know about NieR Replicant ver.1.22474487139… but thinking about it, that’s not very NieR is it?

It’d be more in the spirt of this unique series to give you information that you don’t need to know.

With that in mind, here are seven almost completely useless facts about NieR Replicant ver.1.22474487139…. that will not encourage you to play the game, or enrich your lives in any meaningful way.

In fact, reading them will simply waste some of the limited time you have available on this planet.

You’re welcome.

1. It contains some of the most elaborately… um… ‘creative’ language in videogames

You may think you’ve heard strong language before, but wait until you meet Kainè.

The only thing sharper than this skilled warrior’s swords is her tongue. When she gets riled - and she’s riled pretty easily - she lets fly with some of the flamboyantly foul language you can imagine.

I mean, just listen to this:

NieR Replicant trailer

Well I never (faints).

2. It just won’t sit still

After a few hours, you generally know what to expect from a game. You’ve built some experience, you have the mechanics down and you can settle in and enjoy the journey.

NieR Replicant says nuts to that. It continually shifts perspectives, styles and even entire genres! You can never quite be sure what’s around the corner. You may suddenly find yourself in a top-down bullet hell shooter, or a side scroller, a dungeon-crawler…

There are quite a few far more dramatic examples that we won’t ruin here, but NieR and its developers exhibit an almost troll-like delight in messing with your expectations.

And as a player, you’ll love every second of it.

3. You can become a fisherman

The protagonist in NieR Replicant is a hero of many skills. Sure, you could run around the world, protecting people from sinister Shades and searching for a cure for your sister’s terminal illness… but why not take a break with a spot of fishing?

It’s possible to while many happy hours away, rod in hand, catching fish after fish - from simple sardines to the majestic blue marlin. It’s fun and relaxing… you’ll start to wonder why you bothered with this whole ‘hero’ thing.

Oh yeah - your dying sister. Oops.

4. You can become a farmer

Not a fan of the sea? Cultivate the land instead.

NieR Replicant let you live out your dreams of becoming a farmer - so long as those dreams involved running a small allotment next to a modest cottage.

You can grow vegetables, fruit, flowers… if you have the seeds, you can grow it.

Ah, the pleasures of a simple country life.

5. You can become a delivery boy

Perhaps a different profession would suit you better. Why not try being a delivery boy?

People all over the world of NieR Replicant will ask you to deliver things - from beautiful bags to mutton for hungry kids.

These aren’t always easy - it’s all too easy to lose concentration and take a short cut off a cliff, dodge-roll to get out of trouble, or just run into a mob of Shades hell-bent on blocking your payday. It only takes one mistake to smash a package.

But wouldn’t you believe it - if you return to the quest giver, they have a backup delivery ready to go.

I don’t know what it says about us that they expected incompetence, but we’re grateful to get another shot.

6. It’ll make you feel pretty sheepish

Sheep are great, right? Warm, wooly and unerringly passive. What kind of black-hearted monster would you have to be murder them en masse?

…guys, I’ve killed so many sheep. So, so many sheep.

Yes, you can get mutton and wool from these walking resource factories, but there’s also something weirdly satisfying about the ease at which they go down. And also the trophy associated with it.

When you think about it, it’s all Grimoire Weiss’s fault really - Dark Blast is a such an effective spell for causing an ovine apocalypse, it’s hard to resist.

I do feel bad though. At least I'm not the only one:

7. Finally, here’s what the numbers in the title mean

Bet you’ve been wondering what ‘ver.1.22474487139…’ in the game’s title means.

Well according to YOKO TARO himself

“…the big string of numbers on the end of the title was just something I stuck on randomly, so I wouldn’t think too hard about it if I was you.”

Huh. There we go then.

…or is it? You know, with YOKO-san we never can tell.

NieR Replicant ver.1.22474487139… is out now on PS4, Xbox One and Steam. Go play it if you haven’t already:

You can also follow the NieR series on social media. You know, if you have nothing better to do.