7 of the weirdest enemies in Square Enix games

We take a look at some of the strangest enemies in videogame history. Prepare yourselves because it’s about to get weird…
Por Duncan Heaney

Sometimes Square Enix games can be wonderfully weird.

Our designers love to stretch their imaginations, creating amazingly offbeat monsters that surprise and delight players, and leave a lasting impression on all who see them.

The sheer creativity on display in some of these bizarre beasties is worthy of recognition, so we wanted to highlight some of our favorites.

Cruelcumber - DRAGON QUEST XI S: Echoes of an Elusive Age - Definitive Edition

Cruelcumbers from DRAGON QUEST XI S: Echoes of an Elusive Age - Definitive Edition

This cool (cruel?) customer is one of the first monsters you’ll meet in DRAGON QUEST XI S… and also one of the most captivatingly weird.

Although the Luminary doesn’t have much to fear from this sinful salad fruit (and yes, apparently cucumbers are fruit), it leaves a big impression thanks to its piercing eyes, crazed expression, and unsettling gherkin - ahem, we mean ‘twerking’.

It's even defeated in a wonderfully weird way, impaling itself with its own weapon.

It’s a good example of the unbridled imagination on display in this incredible RPG - how many other games pit you against a malicious bipedal cucumber armed with a spear? Not nearly enough, we say!


Jack-o-gel - Marvel’s Guardians of the Galaxy

Marvel’s band of intergalactic misfits are used to the stranger side of cosmic life. After all, this is the team that regularly visits Knowhere - a melting pot of alien races, bizarre foods, and attractions, all overseen by a security chief who’s a Very Good Boy.

It’s quite telling then that even the Guardians are taken aback by the Jack-o-gels they encounter on the planet Seknarf Nine. What at first seems like a harmless cube of jelly, is suddenly revealed to have a core of vicious amorphous spikes… and a very hostile attitude.

It just goes to show, it’s what’s on the inside that really counts. And unfortunately, in the case of these wobbly weirdos, it’s all bad.


Ozma - FINAL FANTASY IX

Ozma from FINAL FANTASY IX

Ozma may not be much to look at - a swirling mass of light and dark energy that resembles a giant ball. Appropriate, because it’s about to roll all over you.

This is one of the toughest superbosses in the FINAL FANTASY series as well as one of the craziest. Not only can it pound you with powerful spells like Meteor, Holy and Death, it can also heal itself at a moment’s notice. A painful reminder that not all surprises are good.

But perhaps one of the weirdest things about mean ol’ Ozma is how elusive it is. You need to have mastered the Chocobo Hot and Cold minigame to even find it, for example.

Yup - weird, wonderful, and utterly brutal, there’s nothing else quite like this in the FINAL FANTASY series. That’s kind of a relief.


Smooth Shark - NEO: The World Ends with You

The Smooth Shark from NEO: The World Ends with You

It’s fair to say that the entire Shibuya Underground (UG) is… unconventional.

Between the quirky characters that make up the Reapers, their sadistic games, and the ever-present threat of annihilation, only Players who can adapt to the weirdness have a chance of placing on the leaderboards.

Perhaps the craziest thing to deal with, however, is the Noise - creatures that players must battle throughout the game. Many of these are bizarre, from giant frogs to snarling wolves, but one in particular stands out as a real mind-bender: the Smooth Shark.

This fiendishly-finned foe may resemble a typical shark, but it has one major difference: it doesn’t need water. In fact, it will somehow ‘swim’ under the surface of the street, leaping out to catch you unawares. When it does, you have to act quick if you want to knock it down and tip the scales.

It’s a very weird enemy that has real bite. We love it.


Phantom Train - FINAL FANTASY VI pixel remaster

The Phantom Train being thoroughly suplexed

The Phantom Train is one of the most surprising bosses in FINAL FANTASY VI, which is saying something considering that this is the game that also features the belligerent octopus Ultros.

The Phantom Train is a massive locomotive that transports the dead to ‘the other side’. Its carriages are full of ghosts - some hostile, some in high spirits, and some that will even sell you items. They’re clearly of the opinion that you can take it with you.

It’s when you reach the engine that things really get weird. It turns out the train is alive… and it’s none too happy about you taking a ride. You’ll have to fight to get off this crazy ride.

It’s one of those rare cases where going off the rails actually puts your adventure back on track. There’s something quite profound about that. Probably.

(Oh… and yes: in FINAL FANTASY VI pixel remaster, you can suplex the train).


Tonberry - the FINAL FANTASY series

A close up of a Tonberry

Tonberries are loved and feared in equal measure by FINAL FANTASY fans.

Their squat, adorable appearance is a mask for their true nature - a sadistic bringer of pain and suffering. And something that can really hold a grudge.

It’s this clash between what you expect and what you get that makes these series mainstays such an unusual foe. They don’t rush up on you - they move slowly, deliberately and with single-minded purpose. When they finally reach you… well, let’s just say that stubby little chef’s knife ain’t just for show.

Once you encounter a Tonberry, you’ll never forget it - no wonder it’s become such an icon!


Hell House - FINAL FANTASY VII REMAKE INTERGRADE

Cloud and Aerith face the Hell House

“Enter: the Hell Hooouse!”

Cloud and Aerith encounter this four-walled foe while fighting in Wall Market’s Corneo Colosseum. After battling beasts, robots and Midgar’s dumbest bandits, their final foe is something they couldn’t have a predicted: a house.

Yes, a house.

The Hell House appeared in the original FINAL FANTASY VII as a standard enemy, found between the slums of Midgar, but for FINAL FANTASY VII REMAKE, it’s been reimagined into one of the most offbeat bosses in series history.

This is a tough fight too - not very accommodating if you want an easy ride. You’ll have to deal with elemental barriers, flung chairs, a flaming hot jet stream… and that’s not even the worst of it. On hard difficulty it can summon tonberries for a double dose of weirdness!

In short, it’s a true highlight of FINAL FANTASY VII REMAKE. Sometimes the strangest thing in a game can be among the best, and the Hell House really brings that home.


Those were just some of the most weird and wonderful monsters we’ve fought in Square Enix games - but it’s really just scratching the surface.

There’s plenty of wacky things to see in our titles, so embrace the strangeness and tell us your favorites on social media:

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